The end of the long way

XiaoHong 

Setting off. Carrying the very heavy package, through MRT-airplane-passenger transport-subway-train-passenger transport…

The first three days and last four days are continuously moving, we got close to the little village in Xidatan slowly. On the bus to Xidatan, the electric fan shaking intensely for not fixed good. We all eager to see more “scenery of lord of the ring” which our city people felt shocked along the road. The little bus finally turned into the inconspicuous little school gate of Xidatan middle school.

The group of children broke into my life, and this was really a beautiful and scarce gift.

The instructor class of mine is 901. “Teacher, just the classroom wrote with “advance despite difficulties”.”

In fact, my number of lessons in my class is quite few, 4 lessons in 5 days and even had other classes’ lessons for a whole day. I merely had interactive opportunity on class with them but I can’t decide this.

What I can do was only to walk towards them and talk with them after class (physics and chemistry or physical class), moreover, I would read the notes they wrote the first day again and again which had everyone’s basic document and favorite things to do. In fact I not good at remembering names but I wanted to remember everyone’s name. Maybe in my mind only do so means to know them sincerely.

I sat in the seat at the back corner of the classroom when had no class, just saw them one by one. What everyone said to me and done with me. The smiling faces or sleeping faces all clearly left an deep impression in my mind.

Someday in the 901 classroom, students were self-studying and I sat in corner waiting them to ask question. Suddenly I found, the group of hard working happy children was poor. Their desks and chairs were simple and crude, their shoes were homemade thin cloth shoes, and the classroom was dusty.

The moment I saw the group of children, only there lovely appearance appeared in my eyes. I started to ignore the hard environment, I can’t see it. They are not poor, not need our sympathy but we enter their life by heart. That moment I even thought that maybe it was ok to live in there from now on. The future road becomes wider, hardship is not awful, what is terrible may be the bitter but dissatisfied heart.

The first nigh I wrote postcard in my dormitory myself, writing about how lovely the children were. Suddenly I thought about when the people in Taiwan received these postcards, I have already left here and would never see them. Then tears fell down my face without control. Why should this be so? Why the activity be so cruel? Why should we separate when just fall in love with each other?

Enter into the next room, sister Yangyang hug me said: “should life like this?”

Should life like this? Gathering always follows with separation.

On Friday afternoon, there were more then 10 minutes free time after class. Zhicheng said everyone to say a few words to the camera, it may mainly for keeping as a souvenir. When the camera turned to Corey, a rebellious period child whom I always thought he did not like us, his first sentence was “teacher, you worked so hard.”

From now on my tears never stopped for a moment.

Whatever thing can make me cry. Ju Guo’s group all stand up and gave a 90-degree bend to us. When Passed by the girl student’s dormitory after class, they pulled me in. Zhao looked at me shaking her head and asked me to be strong and not to cry. Brother Chui appeared at the door and then was pulled in to sing a song. I would cry for each song sung.

The emotional time after the farewell party, at first, I thought after yesterday’s crying may be today my mood had adjusted well. However, when seeing Jiaxin and sisiter Yangyang and Brother Chui appeared at the classroom door, the feeling was just like a man traveling far away from home see his parents, I could not help but turning around and crying

Zhongzhi Li and Chaochuan Zhang stopped me at the farewell party and each gave me two letters. At last, Xingdi Yang also gave a little card secretly to me when coming to see me. The three gifts for me not only represent the most important memory but also represent my sincerity had really delivered into their heart. Because in fact I always feel very afraid, afraid of that these children after so many echelons of teachers come and go would have been numbness or regard it naturally for our caring and gentle. But these shouldn’t have happened in fact.

Maybe

From the afternoon when we sent all students away from school, my throat started to have problems significantly. It just likes my body had used up the final effort and finally can start to have a rest. I slept for the whole afternoon.

The later journey is free without burden. We also had sauna in Shenzhen, spending money for enjoying. However I still cannot as happy as former traveling outside, even on the way back I always shed tears secretly and had no mood to have meals. Maybe I really need some time to precipitate. Therefore, I am still doing this thing.

Ginza Sauna city’s ceiling had a part of staring sky, which was mad of neon lights. In the farewell party, I told the students to look at the stars when they miss us. Lying on the sofa in the sauna city seeing these stars that can change colors, I looked at them for a night. The last night of this journey, I hope I can exchange some memories with my sleeping.

I am afraid of that all these were dreams and disappeared after I woke up.

It must be not.

Must