Catching my dream

GUANG Zhong

I have come back home for more than ten days, but I still think about those kids’ touching hardworking altitude and how they are doing everyday. I’m the youngest teacher in my group. I am only 16 years old- some of my students are even older than me. So I felt a little bit awkward at the beginning. I tried my best to teach them a little international view. At first, I felt my class was a little bit naughty and wasn’t very happy about it. But later I realized that I have to win their hearts if I want to lead them.   

I actually always have the will to serve others. I could have gone to USA to study in the summer. But I feel it isn’t the meaning of life. Maybe I can see more skyscrapers or improve my English in USA which is important but is not what I want. In this volunteer group, I learned a lot. Thought the physical conditions were tough and life wasn’t convenient, but I never complaint about it after I came back. Because I never felt I was miserable and the spiritual fulfilling transcended all the difficulties.

Before I went on this trip, I tried to find some friends to do it with me. But their parents wouldn’t let them because they thought it was meaningless. However, when I joined the volunteer group, I met so many interesting people with independent thoughts. We took care of each other, which made me forget that I went on this journey alone. It was my first time to travel in mainland China. I gained unique and special experience. In the mountains, my emotion became straightforward. I felt that we were a big family. I remember that the whole school watched Olympic Opening Ceremony together. We watched until late night. We all felt cold. I asked a little sister sitting by me whether or not she is cold. She said no. Later, she asked me whether or not I was cold. I said I was ok. But actually my hands were extremely cold. She reached my hands and held them in her hands. Hers were so warm that I wanted to cry. This was the most unforgettable moment in this journey.

I wonder what kind of dreams those kids have. They told me that they want to go out of the mountains to be a teacher, a doctor, a physicist, a pilot, or even the governor of Gansu Province. I am an English teacher. For example, I taught them subway, but no one here ever took subway. After a lesson in the morning, students asked me if I would come again that afternoon. Their words made me feel my value. After two lessons, our relationship changed from strangers to friends.   

In Da Xi Tan, we meet, share, and give. We brought some old newspaper there. While the students thought those Taiwanese newspaper looked really pretty. A piece of 10-Yuan newspaper gave them different perspectives. One day I saw lots of scotch tapes in the meeting room. I played with them. However, later I found out the scotch tapes were used to repair their textbooks. All of a sudden, I felt guilty since I wasted a lot of tapes and never thought about the usage.

In the severe weathers, the students came to school everyday. I don’t want to get up in the morning when the alarm rings at 6am. I swore as soon as I left my bed because the air was freezing. I saw the students running and exercising in the early morning. In Taiwan, it would never happen this way since lots of students would pretend to be ill or not follow the orders. Another thing impressed me most was taking a shit in the morning. Here the toilet had no doors. The freezing air would numb your butt, the “natural scent” was all over the place, and the maggots were under you. This was completely shocking at the beginning. However I got used to it gradually.

Students here always wear the same clothes no matter it is hot or cold. It was summer time when we went there. But we asked them how it felt when they walked on the mountain road in the winter. They said it was very cold. My heart felt bitter at that moment. Here the mountains are steep and high, the wind is strong and cold. How their thin bodies can stand the severe wind?

Nobody here believes that I am 16 since I am so tall and a little bit fat. They guess people’s age according to their height. I never saw a fat people in Da Xi Tan. I can carry two little boys using both of my arms. They are not allowed to use lights in the morning. In the night, the weak light bothers me a lot. But every one of them concentrates on their books. This kind of routine makes the school the best one in Tianzhu County. One day the Mayor of Wuwei city came and gave a lecture. He said that Xi Da Tan was the poorest place in Tianzhu County and he appreciated our help. His lecture made me think that should those kids complain about the environment or appreciate the opportunity of studying. I guess they chose the latter.

Before I left Taiwan, colleges in EDEN all told me how hard it was which seemed to tell me that a young guy like me couldn’t do it. My friends all laughed at me and thought I was stupid. But after I came back from this trip, I think I made a right decision. I learned so much in this trip. Undeniably, what we gave was little; but I did my best to teach them what I know and to give them what I can. The last day, we went to a sauna place in the county. This experience was a complete contrast. There were four or five people serving me. I sat on a chair and then less than two minutes they brought me a cup of hot tea. When I left, I changed my clothes and shoes. The worker would help me the change and pass me a wet tissue. The worker was a middle-age woman and I am a 16-year-old guy. 

I didn’t cry when I had to say goodbye. Because this is life. I taught the eighth grade. When I say my students’ eyes, I felt it was so hard to leave. If I am not going back, then I probably will never see them again. But the next year, I should work hard for university entrance exam. But I really want to come back.

After I came back to Taiwan, I heard my teacher talking about some advanced places he went to. I felt that was meaningless for me. Everyone is an individual and everyone has his/her own thoughts. I appreciate the opportunity EDEN Foundation offered to me, which let me experience something that my peers rarely experienced. I know what color the bathing water is after you didn’t take shower for eight days. I want to be the youngest EDEN volunteer group leader.